Small. European. Countries.

Fresh Figs (Walter Benjamin, from “Food”. Published in the Frankfurter Zeitung, May 1930.)

No one who has never eaten a food to excess has ever really experienced it, or fully exposed himself to it. Unless you do this, you at best enjoy it, but never come to lust after it, or make the acquaintance of that diversion from the straight and narrow road of the appetite which leads to the primeval forest of greed. For in gluttony two things coincide: the boundlessness of desire and the uniformity of the food that sates it.

Gourmandizing means above all else to devour one thing to the last crumb.

There is no doubt that it enters more deeply into what you eat than mere enjoyment. For example, when you bite into mortadella as if it were bread, or bury your face in a melon as if it were a pillow, or gorge yourself on caviar out of crackling paper, or, when confronted with the sight of a round Edam cheese, find that the existence of every other food simply vanishes from your mind.

- How did I first learn all this?

It happened just before I had to make a very difficult decision. A letter had to be posted or torn up. I had carried it around in my pocket for two days, but had not given it a thought for some hours. I then took the noisy narrow-gauge railway up to Secondigliano through the sun-parched landscape. The village lay in still solemnity in the weekday peace and quiet. The only traces of the excitement of the previous Sunday were the poles on which Catherine wheels and rockets had been ignited. Now they stood there bare. Some of them still displayed a sign halfway up with the figure of a saint from Naples or an animal. Women sat in the open barns husking corn.

I was walking along in a daze, when I noticed a cart with figs standing in the shade. It was sheer idleness that made me go up to them, sheer extravagance that I bought half a pound for a few soldi. The woman gave me a generous measure. But when the black, blue, bright green, violet, and brown fruit lay in the bowl of the scales, it turned out that she had no paper to wrap them in. The housewives of Secondigliano bring their baskets with them, and she was unprepared for globetrotters. For my part, I was ashamed to abandon the fruit.

So I left her with figs stuffed in my trouser pockets and in my jacket, figs in both of my outstretched hands, and figs in my mouth. I couldn’t stop eating them and was forced to get rid of the mass of plump fruits as quickly as possible. But that could not be described as eating; it was more like a bath, so powerful was the smell of resin that penetrated all my belongings, clung to my hands and impregnated the air through which I carried my burden. And then, after satiety and revulsion – the final bends in the path – had been surmounted, came the ultimate mountain peak of taste. A vista over an unsuspected landscape fo the palate spread out before my eyes – an insipid, undifferentiated, greenish flood of greed that could distinguish nothing but the stringy, fibrous waves of the flesh of the open fruit, the utter transformation of enjoyment into habit, of habit into vice.

A hatred of those figs welled up inside me; I was desperate to finish them, to liberate myself, to rid myself of all this overripe, bursting fruit. I ate to destroy it. Biting had rediscovered its most ancient purpose. When I pulled the last fig from the depths of my pocket, the letter was stuck to it. Its fate was sealed; it, too, had to succumb to the great purification. I took it and tore it into a thousand pieces. 

(Translated by my girlfriend, who tries to alleviate some of my shame about having a Tumblr)

THE SMALLEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD

Seborga, Ladonia, Kugel Mugel, Redondia, Trumania, West-Antarctica and Sealand  are countries so small that you have probably never heard of them.

By Henrik Pryser Libell

You will not find them in the UN, and you can barely find them on a world map. Some of the ”home-grown nations” aren’t bigger than their founding king’s backyard. The micro nations comprise of a strange collection of countries. Their population range from one to a few thousand inhabitants, and their rulers are generally self-appointed. And first and foremost, they can be recognised from this: no other state acknowledges them.

The principality Hutt River

“The state” Principality Hutt River Province outside of Perth, Australia is a typical micro nation. It has its own postal service, flag and other symbols. The farmer Leonard Caseley is King Leonard 1. He demanded his farm become independent from Australia in 1971 in protest against the Australian government’s wheat policy. He declared war on the neighbouring state, but later made one-sided peace, and today, Hutt River is a promising tourist destination, with a camping area for backpackers, sale of food and drinks, stamps and souvenirs from “the second biggest state on the Australian continent”.

Similar examples are Sealand, an oil platform outside of the British coast, Kugel Mugel, a strange sphere-shaped house in Vienna, or Coleman Empire, a “white trash” caravan touring England.

State per definition
Is Hutt River a state, asks Lonely Planet Micro Nation travel guide, and the answer might actually be yes. The criteria of the Montevideo Convention on ”rights and duties of states” from 1933 number only four: defined territory, own inhabitants, a government, and relations to other states. 1-0 to Hutt River. Hutt River has a land lot border, the Caseley family are not going anywhere, and the prince will talk to anyone.

The legitimate states of the world however, stick to the consultive definition of a state: it must be accepted by a majority of the international society.

This is the reason why the British comedian who founded the state ”Lovely” in his own flat in the suburb Bow outside of London, was not accepted as a member of the UN, even though he applied on formal correspondence paper and announced the founding on British television.

Homegrown Ladonia
Ladionia was founded ten years ago in a tiny bay near the coast of Helsingborg, Sweden, in order to protect a couple of pieces of art made by the artist Lars Vilks in the 80s out of wood, drift wood and concrete. Because his art is situated in a protected nature reserve, the government has demanded that it is all dismantled. “The existence of Ladonia” has therefore gone all the way to Swedish Supreme Court.

Independence is only one of several clever stunts Vilks has pulled to protect the art. The pieces have also been sold to foreign artists, donated to the Modern Museum and the biggest concrete sculpture has been sold to a publishing house and published as a book – printed in one copy. Hence, it is protected by the copyright act. All the pieces of art are cities in the land of Ladonia.

Nomads

In spite of the modest size, there are already 12 000 Ladonians. And that is without counting the ca 4000 Pakistanis who applied for citizenship in 1996. All citizens of Ladiona are nomads; none of them live in Ladonia. The president lives in Sweden, the Cabinet meet on the internet, and the royal family live in exile, possibly in Norway. From their exile, they send photos of themselves once a year, with painted faces, as if in the theatre.

The rest of Ladiona’s political life takes place virtually, and last week, Ladiona declared itself a protector of Taiwan, and published the drawings of “a tunnel to China” for invasion. A new volcanic island which recently appeared in the Pacific Ocean was immediately declared Ladonian, and so was the new volcanic island Ultima Thule, which appeared north of Greenland. 

A war with ants
Ladiona has already declared was on Sweden, USA and San Marino. For a laugh. But Ladionia’s president, Kicki Hankell, is against all the wars. – The hawks in the Cabinet are the ones declaring war so rashly, says Hankell, who points out that Ladonia is constitutionally bound to only fight non-violent wars. The war against Sweden, for example, was fought by red ants. Hankell was not aware of her presidency until she read about it in her local paper. The Cabinet had chosen her. The post she had gone for was that of Guardian Angel Minister.

Creative tax
- Ladonia is an ancient state which existed before time, explains Hankell, who is a graphic designer in her Swedish daily life. Now, creativity restores the golden era of ancient times. Taxes in Ladonia are paid in creativity. With enough creativity, one can become a member of the aristocracy or a minister. – Those adequately crazy for the job are granted minister posts at Vilks & Co. Some members of president Hankell’s government are: Minister of Unnumbered Things, Silence, Gravity, Kazakhstan Affairs, Digression, the Dark Side, Rock-Paper-Scissor Game, Art and Jump, Impossible Travels, Madness, Future Science, Vampire Affairs og Minister of Things Under Rocks (Understonology).

Rookie states
Many of these somewhat peculiar micro states have existed for years. Sealand was established in the 60s on an unused platform just outside of the British coast as a base for a pirate radio station.

Christiania, the hippy free-state in Copenhagen was established as “otherwiseland” in the 70s.

Sealand has fired shots on the British coast guards and controlled internet games which are illegal in other states. Christiania has until this year had ”special laws”, tolerating marijuana sale and ignoring Danish laws concerning buildings.

Other microstates, like Coleman Empire, Ladonia, State of Sabotage, Lovely and North Dumpling Islands are relatively new.

Kilroy micro travels
Lonely Planet has given them all a boost by publishing a book which probably is the world’s first travel guide to microstates. Kilroy Denmark has followed the book launch and offers ”trips to several microstates, among them ‘The Coleman Empire’ in London and ‘Kugel Mugel’ in Austria”. – It was just an idea, really, says Lasse Grunstrup in Kilroy Denmark.

– We work closely with Lonely Planet and when they published this book, we thought “why not?”

Direct contact with the micro kingdoms for an itinerary is not available, though. – Well, it’s mainly a gimmick, Grunstrup admits. – The tickets we sell are normal tickets to Vienna, London and Perth.

Knights Templar

Most micro nations have no organised tourism. The exception is the “Principality Seborga” in Italy, the only one referred by as a “real micro state” by Lonely Planet, with its actual historical and juridical demands. The little village in the mountains of Northern Italy ”declared” its independence from Italy in 1963. They call themselves a “monastery state”, and has reinserted a medieval abbot-rule.

The historical Seborga existed between 1300 and 1629 as a Knights Templar state, created by French counts and the pope in Rome. The town is situated on a small mountain top one hour east of Monaco, and has a spectacular view of the Italian floral Riviera. An old, narrow road meanders around the mountain, and at the entrance a sign says “Welcome to Seborga”, decorated with blue and white flags. From every house in the centre hangs a Seborga flag, depicting the coat of arms of the Knight Templar order “God’s Poor Militia”.

Tourism magnet
The town used to make its living from growing roses and mimosas. Now, it lives off its tourists. They have built a square for the tourist buses to turn outside of the restaurant “The Count”, owned by the the “minister of foreign affairs”. “The minister of business” runs the shop, where she sells knight souvenirs and passports, stamps and lugini coins.

The prince himself, Giorgio 1, is a flower baron and makes a living from mimosa.

We meet him in his royal castle one early morning, not long before he abdicated this year, due to disagreements with the other prince in town; the mayor.

At that point, Giorgio 1, alias Giorgio Carbone, had been the leader of the ”Knight’s council” for more than forty years. He smells of sambuca and perfume when he greets us, dressed in Knights Templar uniform with a large blue ribbon over his dark suit. The walls are covered by Maltese crosses, saltires and flags from various branches of the Knights Templar, Rotary and Lion clubs. His majesty insists that the independence of Seborga is not a tourist gimmick.

Sid Umbra Sedi
- The tourists are welcome, but this is about freedom and rights of the people. Seborga was sold illegally to Sardinia in 1629, he explains and shows us the documents he found in the Vatican in the 60s, including the massive book that is the constitution of Seborga.

But the Vatican is the only state to ever correspond with the new Seborga. Hence, prince Giorgio is for the pope, but against Italy and the EU, the UN, capitalism, communism, the euro and even the mayor of the town. The one thing he does like is sitting in the shade. And that is the ancient motto of the Seborga, “Sid umbra sedi”

FACTS

Microstates of the World:

Oldest: Seborga, with roots to the 14th Century.

Smallest: Coleman Empire, a caravan in England

Most populous: Dominion of British West Florida. Several million inhabitants in the south of the United States.

Largest: Westarctica. Demands ¼ of Antarctica. Since states cannot demand the area, the king claims that individuals can.

Craziest: Whangamomona, New Zealand with a goat for president. Created to avoid a fusion with the neighbouring city’s rugby team, and to have a huge beer feast every year to celebrate the national day.

Funniest: Lovely, founded by the comedian Danny Wallace

Most liberal: Christiana (which used to allow marijuana) or Freedonia, an ultraliberalistic, libertine zero-tax paradise.

Others: The Kingdom of Molossia, Freedom, the Kingdom of Elleore, Ahkzivland, Romkerhall, The Ibrosic Protectorate and the countries Talossa, Kematia, Trumania, Redonda, Atlantium and the barony of Caux. ibrosiske proktektorat, og landene Talossa, Kemetia, Trumania, Redonda, Atlantium og baroniet Caux.